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I hate to say this but i feel absolutly no spark between Beau and I anymore. Her father was right and now i too see what he was saying. We're just too different. I can't give Beau what she needs and so it is with a not so heavy but heavy still the same that i am filing for a divorce.
I just can't be with her anymore, knowing that i want to be with some else and only just realized it when it was too late.
Tomorrow this is all going to end.
0.0 x2"Because like damn am I gonna let you of all people fall apart!"
I had every damn right to fall apart. I who already felt the pressures of everything my actions have caused that girl lying in there. Lying about her parentage...Everything. Karma is sickening.In all honesty i was shocked that Alex had the balls to step to me. Never in all the years that we've known eachother...intimately or not did he EVER raise his voice. He was the soft one. Always calm always collected. Not now though.
"I'm not gonna let you screw it up for him either!!"
I knew he blamed me for everything, I blame myself.I would comply with his wishes. Look after the child, fix the girl; but i wouldn't allow myself the privilage of having any emotion. I would detach myself as would be best. Before i let my emotions go i had to let everything out. I walked to the basement and grabbed whatever i could find. My hands crushed whatever they came on and i let out a blood curdeling scream. A picture of Sparta, Alex,Keith,Ste
0.0I screamed, i hyperventilated...... i was in total dispair. My daughter didn't remember me. I'm not sure i know what happened after i screamed but i know when i woke up i was sitting in a chair holding Stephano. I felt so numb. My daughter that i myself made, that i had desired, spent Seventeen years raising...Oh Gods... she didn't even have an inkling of who i was. I couldn't even bare to think of how Alex was taking it.
It has to be something that i've done. Thats right. It's because i did something that shee must have wanted to forget me...us. I recall Rose saying how sad Sparta was that we had been spending less and less time with her. All becuase of this baby in my arms.
My eyes refocused and i saw my dad sitting next to me. " Take this baby away from me." His head snapped up "Pardon?!" I repeated myself. "Take this baby away from me.... Until Sparta remembers who i am, i have NO child."
I felt my body move away from the scene barely even giving grace to allow my father time to gr
Troubles of a motherNeglect is not something i would say that i was often apart of however according to Rose thats how Sparta feels Alex and I have been doing to her. Gosh, i never thought about it but maybe that was the problem. Stephano is just at such a crucial time in his life. I can't very well leave him. I'm running up and down with him all day. Alex has to go to work and then i'm left to do the housework,cooking and looking after this little baby boy.
I feel so bad for not having as much time for Sparta as i used to. I know Alex feels the same as I. I don't want to bring Sparta in on having to look after her brother with us when she's already got so much to deal with at the moment.
How can we possibly make this up to her?! Can we ever? I feel like a bitch for this. I know she thinks that we don't even notice her but we do, we always do and if i get the time between breastfeeding, changing and rocking Stephano i often sneak into Sparta's room and just give her a little peck on the cheek. Alex will b
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Bluefley has a gallery filled with artwork that whisks you off in to a Sci-fi daydream, and keeps you captivated for hours. Marc has been a member of our community for over a decade and has achieved nothing but success with his astounding commitment to interacting with the community, sharing a prolific amount of video tutorials and generally being an all round rockstar deviant. It is no joke that we are absolutely delighted to award the Deviousness Award for April 2014 to ... Read More